my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I deserve this hangover.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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