Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
