I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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