Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Let's paint friendship bongs
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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