Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Randomize
