just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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