i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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