from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
