Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
