yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
