i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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