Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
