i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm always down for nudity.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
