That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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