Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
