He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
