ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
