Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
