Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
