all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
