the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
