I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
