They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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