gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
