I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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