u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Randomize
