Capitaan dildo arrescate!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
