My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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