I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
