you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
