did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
