Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
