Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
