Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
my poor anus
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize