She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
