Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize