Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
