For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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