she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
