my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
