You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
