:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
