i would punch a child for taco bell
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
