This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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