And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
