Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
