whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
