I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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