Too much gin, very little bucket
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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