I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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