What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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