I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
