they need to just BURY HIM!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
