I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize