I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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