Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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