possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
