I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
