were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
