What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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