How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I have demons in me.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
