What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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