So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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