Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
